is it possible to go a few weeks without attending class and still maintaining a good average? i really hope so.

this morning, while my mind raced for specific ailments to prevent me from going to school, i cried out, “oh, my stomach!” truth was i actually had a huge headache, but something about the stomach flu makes parents more compassionate. however, compassion is never the case with my mom. so when she noticed that i hadn’t come downstairs in the morning she came up to my bedroom door and started shrieking, “i’m disappointed in you! blah, blah, blah… you don’t want to work, you don’t want to go to school, you don’t do anything.”

here i was thinking, “finally, you understand what i want to do in life — completely nothing.”

i wish the main character peter gibbons in office space were real and part of a mentoring program which i could join as a lost cause and i’d pick him to be my mentor and he’d teach me the ways of doing certain fullfilling nothingness activities during which the philosophy of laziness would wash over me like a warm blanket. (whew.)

i also wish there was something to inspire me to do something — anything, really — right about now. this nagging guilt and and fear of failing courses eat at me regularly when i know that it’s entirely up to me to make them stop. i think i have some sort of psychological disease that prevents me from making executive decisions regarding my life. is it activeparticipationphobia? am i a hypodontwanttothink-aboutworkchondriac? or am i simply just a lazy girl with the dream of doing nothing?