at times when the world appears as a bloody dream-state which cannot be escaped, the best thing to do is run around the nearest public arena as naked as a jay-bird. hey — no one gets sacked for running around stark naked in a dream.

hmm. my musings fail me tonight… er, or this morning at 1:44 AM. i am simply in a state of dreamy disillusion where i cannot find certain things for which i have sought my many years roaming around this god-awful place. this winter break i have immersed myself in the trite anecdotal tales of love lost and found. i have unwittingly stopped dead in my tracks with the horrible realization that the things i covet in the real world are merely the idealistic soap that i have read in said fanciful novels. one cannot blame a person — who doesn’t have much hope in the world of today — for desiring something to hope for. as much as i parade a somber outlook regarding people and relationships, i cannot help but want what they tempt us with on the television as well as in those damn harlequins.

but i’m a level-headed girl. i understand that everyone wants things that they cannot realistically achieve in their lifetimes. i guess that’s the main reason i feel so disattached from the world. media of dramatic shows and romantic tales promise a matrix of possibility and hope. this temptation gives us something to strive for when, for most people, the final product is anything but idealistic.

ah, i’m tired of being so analytical. i wish that i thought less about grievances and more about simple things, like what to eat for dinner and when to schedule my next dental check-up. the truth is if one sets their expections for life low at the very beginning they would experience disappointment much less frequently.