you look at me and see the girl
who lives inside the golden world
but don’t believe that’s all there is to see
you’ll never know the real me

i feel that i’m caring about one problem in my life too much, and now it has transformed into two huge boulder-like chips atop each of my shoulders. at times i cannot believe how people who claim to be your friends can — perhaps not as dramatic as “stab you in the back” — jeopardize your friendship with them. how they can gradually hurt you with lies and false promises, especially when you’ve taken the time to compromise yourself so much just to keep the “bond” that they themselves have put in peril.

she smiles through a thousand tears
and harbours adolescent fears
she dreams of all that she can never be
she wades in insecurity and hides herself inside of me

friends can so easily become strangers to your eyes and once happy memories can rot into a pile of lies and manipulated tales. once again, you are left as the victim who was too passive and too compliant to voice your contest against such aberrations of a so-called friendship.

don’t say she takes it all for granted
i’m well aware of all i have
don’t think that i am disenchanted
please understand

now, you’re left with two options: 1) pretend the betrayal never happened and go about your day, or 2) bitch-slap the assailants and go about your day. either way, you will carry on, you will learn something from this hurt, and you will become a better person. and i guess that’s all that matters in the long run.

it seems as though i’ve always been somebody outside looking in
well, here i am for all of them to bleed
but they can’t take my heart from me
and they can’t bring me to my knees
they’ll never know the real me

i won’t show them me, the real me — whoever that turns out to be in the end. they don’t deserve any sympathy or consideration from me. they deserve each other. and from the evidence of their care in friendships (or lack thereof), i can honestly say that i am right about just that. selfish, greedy plight spawns the ill will of once good friends.