when i’m watching cnn and witnessing the destruction in the middle east in the name of god (or allah), i wonder if this is not the most hypocritical thing the the name of religion. people slaughtering their own for the need of a religious homeland or shrine or perhaps even pride. aren’t these things that religion adamantly discourages? this is my main deterrent in picking up a bible or what have you and conscientiously delving into religious practices. i realize that not every christian or jewish or islamic person is going to end up killing their brothers in an all-out crusade. but i cannot deny my skepticism.

i don’t only get these worries when i’m watching the news. i see it in my family with my uncle who is a devout christian and who basically ignores the rest of the family now. i see it in school when someone completely slams your right to speak because you are not pious. or when someone engages in sex before marriage which, if i’m not mistaken, goes against some pretty important religious boundaries. why swear yourself into a system of belief that you attempt to escape from time and time again? where is the loyalty in that? i’d rather meet someone who cusses and has sex using their own code of ethics rather than someone who pretends to be so devoutly religious and ends up breaking every single rule they stand by.

addendum: and we mustn’t forget the drama surrounding the pedophile-priest scandal(s). i just don’t like how the church strongly opposes science, yet when one of their own is caught for something as heinous as molesting prepubescent boys, they embrace the mechanics of psychology to essentially excuse their “biological urges.”

it’s issues like these that make me scrutinize the term “god”. what is “god” in the strictest sense? personally, i don’t think it’s the grand being in the heavens with a bushy white beard. i think the wonders we attach to “god” are already encapsulated within us. people say, “good things happen because god lets them happen” and vice versa. well, i say good things happen because we make them happen. god? that’s just a label we have for everything spiritual and capable of greatness inside of us. i’m tired of people being depressed and wondering what they did to have god hate them so much, especially when they are the ones with the ability to turn it around.

so do i believe in “god”? i guess you could say that, but not in his conventional use. (i know many people who read this are going to have a field-day.) i’d like to think we play some role in what happens in our life, even if that means criticizing the world around us.