being a hot-blooded female, i do have the odd fantasy every now and then which are somewhat (cough) sexual. i won’t talk about them in great detail but i will say that they pop into my head at the most random of occasions.

this year, entering into a university with new names and new faces, i was surrounded by so many fine specimens of the male species. in one of my classes, there was an older guy who sat close to me. i never talked to him, but i knew he was at least studying in third or fourth year, from what i could tell. he was caucasian, brown-haired, and smart. i was instantly mesmerized.

sometimes, when i wasn’t really paying attention during the lecture, i’d look at him and just imagine us together… doing things. not necessarily bad things, but intimate things. if he ever found out i had a slight interest in him, i’m sure he still wouldn’t look twice at me — i’m at the age of majority and i still look like i’m in my pre-teens. but i’d wonder that if he knew i was thinking these more intimate things about him, would he then reconsider? if i could offer him an opportunity to be with me so closely, no strings attached, would he then maybe look twice at me with something other than indifference?

i realize that i would never actually carry out any of these frivolous acts, since i could never offer myself so casually and loosely (no pun intended) to any man. but i’d still wonder if that’s what it takes for someone as mature and intelligent as this james dean incarnate to give me the time of day.

males supposedly think about sex at least once every five seconds; however, i don’t fall under that category. although i do have these thoughts at strange moments in my day, they are never as graphic as the ones men are said to have. personally, i tend to put a romantic twist on my fantasies. i make them out in my head as movies with smooth delivery of lines and gestures. my fantasies are not as carnal as others, meaning i never really see the object of my affection and i doing the horizontal tango. the general idea of it exists in my head and inspires vicarious pleasure, though, kind of like an episode of a teen drama.

how boring am i.