i think i’ve found a reason to my madness.

i want to be loved. not just as something someone “settled” for but was looking for. i want to be special because, goshdarnit, i am special. i deserve to be treated like something different and new and unique because i am those things. i want to be told i’m the most beautiful girl in the world because, in his eyes, that’s exactly what i am. i want comfort and stability, and not just routine. i want so many things that i can honestly offer in return.

moreover, i want to believe all of that myself.