i did the most cartoonish thing yesterday: i walked straight into a pole. i’ve always wondered if people were actually stupid enough to collide with something sticking out of the sidewalk they were walking on, as they do in movies, and now i know. i have a huge shiner on the side of my forehead to prove it.

in other news of the painful variety, i have a fifteen-page research paper due in a couple of days that i have yet to actually get started on. i’m beginning to feel all sorts of frustration, which may end in — i’m sure — a considerable loss of hair.

the prospect of going bald scares me. asian women are supposed to have the greatest chance of losing their hair as they get older. i have some distant aunts who shed like dogs and have to constantly wear these strange fishermen hats. so, now, every time i’m taking a shower and get a fistful of hair in my hand while shampooing, i say a little prayer for my hair follicles.

right now, i must look like what i imagine to be a patchy-balding punching bag.