i’m sitting here listening to my computer monitor emit a very high-pitched noise that has been penetrating my skull for about an hour now. it’s pretty telling of my apathetic character that i’ve been tolerating it for so long, as it slowly turns my eardrums into mush and probably gives me a tumour the size of a grapefruit in my brain.

i’ve always been like this, though. i never fix today what can be put off for tomorrow — or, even better, five years. it’s not that i’m a huge procrastinator (which i also am, of course); it’s just that i don’t find very many things an immediate threat to my health or way of living. take for example the chest pains i’ve been having on and off for years. i’ll clutch my chest and writhe in pain for about three minutes, but i’ll be back up in a moment without a second thought. i also had a skin condition since the beginning of puberty that i only got prescription medicine for last month. my telephone used to spontaneously hang up on people for three years. it finally stopped a few months ago, but not with my help; it just stopped on its own, as if it knew that i would do absolutely nothing and that it was better off left to its own devices.

i should also be presently correcting a scheduling/credit conflict i have with my history major at UBC, fiddling around with my timetable registration and whatnot. yet i am sitting here, typing this, not a care in the world.

and also now, i’m having a terrible stomach pain from only eating a small bowl of microwaved noodles this entire day, and i’m still sitting here, typing this, happy as a clam. my stomach is probably eating itself out of survivial instinct, but — hey — no worries.