i found out about futureme.org from nisa’s site, and decided to write myself a little letter. it will be delivered to me in about a year or so, when it should be sufficiently misplaced in the recesses of my memory.

here it is:

dear future me,

when you finally get this, some things will be different.

did you actually get into UBC law? how was the LSAT that you were terrifed about? was that terror substantiated, or was the exam a breeze?

or did you not get into law and decide to do something else? take a year off, work somewhere?

did you get to go to europe in the summer? or did you sit on your butt and work for the human resource centre one more time? how much money did you save up?

are you still with alan? i have a feeling you are. have you done something really, really embarrassing in front of his family during this time? fart, let out explosive diarrhea, shamed yourself in some unimaginable way?

do you still feel bad about buying that second season dvd of the x-files? did you buy the third season dvd? where are you getting this money from, if you did?

did you watch the movie adaptation of harry potter and the goblet of fire? did that director from notting hill totally fuck it up? does daniel radcliffe still look cute, or is his hair all shaggy and his teeth all crooked? was the yule ball scene adorable?

did you finally get a new hair style? some bangs, maybe? or is it really just the same old long, dark china-doll hair you’ve always had?

are you still biting your nails and mutilating your cuticles? yes, i thought so. i don’t think that one’s ever going away. learn to live with it.

have you been exfoliating?

have you paid mom and dad back? have they stopped hounding you for money? did you switch banks?

do you still talk to your old friends like you used to? or have they drifted so far away that even a simple phone-call seems like a crazy, fantastical idea?

have you finally learned how to drive? holy shit, how long have you been sixteen with a learner’s? if you haven’t finally driven a car legally by this time, i swear i will get into a time machine and wring your skinny sixteen year old neck.

does the grudge with “flatty mcbitch” matter to you anymore? do you still want to shoot a bb-gun into her eyeball? has the anger finally subsided enough so that you can live a life that doesn’t revolve around trying to make your life appear better than hers?

have you purchased new underwear?

have you sang in front of a large audience?

have you gotten so pissed drunk that you acted like a complete retard and then realized what a tool you’d been the next day? ok, that was a given.

did you read some more books that weren’t part of the school curriculum? i gather you didn’t bother to touch the lord of the rings trilogy, so i won’t ask about frodo.

well, i guess that’s it for me. i hope you’ve managed to accomplish some positive things during the year we’ve been apart. mostly, i hope you don’t feel so unsure about yourself — i really hate that.

sincerely,
your past self