questions that will evade answer for all of eternity (also known as my inane midnight musings):

• what exactly is a “karma chameleon” and where can i purchase one?
• do british people actually say “wotcher” like they do in harry potter?
• is that the british equivalent of “wassup”?
• did hitler style his mustache like that or did it just grow that way naturally?
• is orange pekoe tea really made out of orange?
• was i irish in another lifetime?
• can i staple clean through the top of my thumbnail without breaking it? (apparently, no.)
• will this picture of christian bale on my desk turn into the real christian bale one day so that i might live out my every sexual fantasy of him?
• how long can i stand not vacuuming my room before a giant dustball suffocates me in my sleep?
• was neil armstrong secretly gay with buzz aldrin?
• why do i know these people’s names? (it’s not like they walked on the moon or anything.)
• how harmful would it be to get a pop-rock stuck on your eyeball?
• will society ever accept my marriage to daniel radcliffe?
• why does monday come before tuesday?
• who needs the kwik-e-mart? (i dooo.)