the LSAT is looming nearer and i’ve still to cram another practice test into my schedule before it finally arrives. all of this studying seems a bit useless, though. it’s not one of those tests that you can arrive thirty minutes before and try to stuff your short-term memory with useless facts. your mind is either capable of thinking a certain way, or it isn’t. my mind is just grey “doesn’t”-matter right now.

a friend of mine who is also aiming to study law has just been accepted to a university in ontario. thinking about the possibility of starting anew in a different city fills me with the hope that i can still study abroad, something i didn’t even consider right when i graduated high school. well, i wanted to, but i already knew i would never be able to afford it, so i crossed it off my list of options. even now, i’m cursing the whole money issue. it seems unfair to me that i know so many people who can afford to study in their desired locations, and i haven’t been on vacation since i was fifteen. i feel cheated out of the typical university/college experience that so many people get to go through, with the dorms and the making of new friends and the learning to live in a strange city. since high school, i’ve continued to live at home, crossed the border once (to seattle), and remained friends mostly with people i’ve known since eighth grade (some even longer). not that those are necessarily bad things. i just feel so limited in my understanding and experience with the rest of the world, having been holed up here in vancouver for so long.

i’ve started my application to law schools, starting with UBC and completely missing the deadline for ones on the east coast. i was thinking about applying to UVIC, but that doesn’t seem far enough away for me. of course, i’m basing all of my hopes to study elsewhere on the fact that elsewhere will actually accept my current grades and LSAT score. and i should really be working on improving those right now.