One big thing that I’ve had to adjust my perspective on in law school is the fact that there are a lot of people with a lot of money out there. I thought growing up in a home where both parents worked full-time just to scrape by was the norm for most kids. In high school, I began to make friends with people who went to expensive private schools, but I believed they were the exception to the rule. In university, I worked a part-time job almost every hour that I wasn’t in school and my summer vacations weren’t so much vacations as they were nine-to-fivers—all in order to pay for a neverending tuition. And this seemed like the case for the majority of the people I came across in school.

In law school, however, it seems like everyone around me has their tuition covered by their parents, their fancy Westside Vancouver apartments paid for by a trust fund, and their credit card bills magically balanced by an invisible, bottomless wallet. I had always mildly envied people like that before, but I smugly believed that I would come out on top because of all of my hard work and sacrifice. But now, being among people who not only have the financial backing to support both an expensive higher education and a cushy social life but also a secured future as a professional in a lucrative field, I am just downright jealous. They will undoubtedly end up in the same place as me—probably even better.

I’m not saying these people haven’t had to put in hours of studying to get where they are because I’m sure they have. I guess I’m just sour about the fact that in addition to the crazy studying, I’ve had to bust my ass to pay for everything I own (which isn’t much) and have had to give up on dreams of traveling to Europe and South America or wherever else because I always knew it was a financial pipe dream. (If you’ve read this site since its inception in my high school days, you’ll know how true this is.)

Take where I am right now for example: I am working at a well-paying full-time job for the summer. I’ve saved up a little nest-egg for myself that I would love to spend on my much desired trip to Chile and Argentina, but I can’t. It’s an impossibility because that nice little nest-egg is paying for my tuition next year. I can’t even move out to a cheap little apartment like most people are doing at my age. Some people have asked why I don’t take out a student loan. The short of it is that I do not want to be in debt when I graduate from law school. Because greater than my desire to live the good life is my desire not to owe an exorbitant amount of money that will take me over a decade to pay off. I don’t want to graduate law school, $40,000 in the hole, with only the possibility that I will have a legal “career” by that time.

But these people, whom I used to think were just a lucky few, have gotten to have everything I’ve wanted and do everything I’ve dreamed of. I didn’t come out on top at all—I’m still at the bottom rung of a very tall social ladder. But I guess the one break is that if I fall, I won’t fall very far at all.